Attachment Trauma Therapy
for Adults - Online
My special focus as a therapist is helping adults validate and heal the effects of attachment wounds, especially after childhood emotional abuse and neglect, and other developmental trauma, including that of being neurodivergent in a neuro-normative world.
These experiences can have huge impacts, yet they can become overlooked or the symptoms can be thrown back at you with shame added on top. There are no visible marks left, and the harmful actions (or inactions) each seem so small, so self-doubt and gaslighting can really take hold. It’s easy to ask, “was it really that bad?”
Yet, something feels “off.”
Another thing that makes emotional abuse and neglect different than some other harmful experiences and traumas is that it in parent-child relationships, and in neurodivergent experiences of society, it’s typically chronic. This is called complex trauma (as opposed to “classic” or single-incident trauma). While all trauma affects the nervous system in powerful ways, complex trauma is known to be a little trickier to relieve because the lesson that the world is not safe is learned over, and over, and over again. The ways this happens may be small (nicknamed “little t” traumas) and there might be some bigger bits sprinkled in around it in your life, too (“big T” traumas). Altogether, your nervous system has to adapt to a LOT.
Some ways people adapt to this kind of relationship trauma is to change how they interact with themselves and others. This can result in a strained relationship within yourself, including self-criticism, self-doubt, and feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. It can also cause difficulty connecting in positive ways with other people, including friends, roommates, romantic partners, teachers, and strangers. The isolation from these effects can become unbearable. Sadly, the inadequate or hurtful relationship with a parent or others can lead to many difficult problems later, and it may feel like you are doomed to repeat the same mistakes forever.
Many people don’t even realize their experience was harmful until they leave home. It can be difficult to raise your awareness of the pain points of home, especially when you re-immerse yourself in those relationships or environments periodically: Just when you start to validate your experience, just when you are discovering who you are and are learning to love yourself, you must figure out how to protect yourself again, without losing yourself in the process. This is a difficult task, but it can be done, and we can help you do it.
Complex Trauma
You Can Heal Developmental Trauma
The wonderful thing is, you aren’t done adapting; you can adapt to a new way of life that is safer and in which you know you are worthy of love. It takes lots of new, positive experiences to help you learn and trust that. This is what therapy can offer, when you find a therapist who feels safe to you, and who guides you to develop trust in yourself, while helping you to heal the old wounds and to cultivate hope for your future.
I deeply believe that your capacities for joy and vibrancy are not lost or destroyed; they just went underground to stay safe in unsafe times. They are still there, under the protective patterns that you developed to make it through all that. These patterns might not need to protect you in the same ways anymore; maybe there are good opportunities in your life now to be authentic and happy. Or, maybe you are ready to find some ways to make your life more like that. We can work together to help old, stuck patterns to shift, so that wonderful aspects of you can shine back through, and so you can grow and flourish.
I would truly love for us to get to know you in this way, together.
Together, we’ll go beyond typical talk therapy with approaches like “parts”/inner child work, creative arts, virtual sandtray, somatic awareness, emotional freedom techniques (EFT tapping), mindfulness, and more.
Our therapy will help you…
learn tailored skills for coping with difficult feelings
identify your triggers—even the things that happen for “no reason”
understand yourself in new ways that help you replace shame with self-compassion
gain insights how your past is affecting you today
heal the effects of trauma in your body, brain, and heart through memory reconsolidation
make life choices that are right for you
You are not broken.
Your pain wants to show what will bring you healing and wellness.
Let’s find your way there, together.